without you...

Pain and anger turns to numbness…


Maybe that is the true beauty of anguish


An intense ache and burning quickly fades


It turns to a tingle…


A numbing tingle that starts in my toes and travels up my spine


People comment on the soulless eyes


They look at me and say something is missing


People finally have it right…I am missing something


My better half


The one that fixed me


The one that made me whole


One of the only ones to understand me for real


Most people who think they have me all mapped out


Only turn out to have it backwards


Oh God once again I'll wake up


Alone and in this unholy pain…


Who is there?


Who will I turn to in my darkened hours now?


I needed you…I turned to you


I leaned on you and never admitted it


I can only pray that this numbing drug stays around a few more days


I feel like I can't even talk


I can't from the words


There is so much going through my mind


So much I want to say and tell to you


But most of all I want to say, "I am sorry…"